Fun with Oska John
by cuzimcrazylikethat
Summary: Sasuke meets up with an old friend, who happens to be a piece of..... baloney. Yeah, baloney. plz read. no flames please! If you don't like it keep your opinions to yourself. WARNING: OOC SASUKE! Oneshot


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (duh!)**

Naruto walked out of his bedroom and out into the hallway, chewing vigorously and loudly on his afternoon snack. He walked into the living room of the apartment he shared with Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura. Sasuke was lying on the brown leather couch that was in front of their TV asleep. Naruto walked over to the recliner that stood next to the couch Sasuke was on. Tom and Jerry was on the TV. _Well, it looks like Sasuke enjoyed this_. He thought. He let out a little laugh. It was just enough to wake Sasuke.

"Ehh….." Sasuke let out a moan, and opened one eye to look at Naruto, "Shut up Naru-.", Sasuke cut himself off and sat up quickly, both eyes open. He had a look of sheer horror and surprise on his face.

"What?" Naruto asked, scratching the back of his head in confusion. "What is it Sasuke?"

Sasuke didn't answer him and just let out a squeal.

"Oska!" He yelled in a girly voice. He did a fancy leap, like a ballerina landing on his toes in front of Naruto, where he snatched the piece of baloney from the blonde's hands.

"Wtf?"

Sasuke held the piece of meat at arms length, spinning like a top. His eyes were watering

"It's been a long time Oska!" He said. He brought the baloney close to his face rubbing his face against it. He was still spinning, eyes glittering.

Naruto just stared. After Sasuke spun about 50 times, he spoke up.

"Did I miss something?" He said, "Why the hell are you spinning with a piece of baloney?" Sasuke stopped spinning and turned towards him.

"Its pronounced bologna (AN: lol Sasuke says it bo-log-na) He said in a girly voice. "I have a story behind Oska John anyway; do you want to hear it?" He batted his eyelashes at Naruto.

"Well, urm, actually…"

"Good, now let's get started," Sasuke said, cutting off Naruto, "When I was younger I had a piece of bologna that I named Oska John. I took him every where he was like a son to me. In fact, I was basically his mother! We had-." Naruto cut him off before he could tell anymore of his disturbing story.

"Hold up!"Naruto said, "What do you mean mother? You're a guy for Pete's sake! Don't you have any male pride? And also, it's a piece of friggin baloney! You can't love a piece of baloney! I can't under-!"

Sasuke just smiled (AN:gasp I told you he was ooc!) at Naruto and continued his story.

"Anyway, I was so proud of Oska, he was top of his class and responsible and he had just entered puberty! He was growing hair and everything! It was so magnificent!" Sasuke gushed. Naruto gagged.

"Hair?" Naruto cringed, "That's just plain sick." _This is proof that Sasuke really is queer! I gotta spread this around!_ He thought. He started to run to the computer office in the back of the house. _I gotta go post this on Sakura's fan site!_ Naruto had made a fake screen name on her site so that he could see what they were saying about Sasuke. He was almost to the computer room when Sasuke roughly grabbed his collar and pulled him back.

"Wha!"

"Silly Naruto", he said in a creepy, twisted girly voice. He had a crooked crazed smile on his face, "I'm not done with the story yet." In one move he lifted Naruto by the collar and threw him across the room. With a yip, Naruto landed on the leather recliner.

"Like I was saying, I was so proud of my Oska, and then it happened." Sasuke's face darkened His girlish tone fading.

"What happened?" Naruto was strangely getting in to the story now.

"Itachi came." Sasuke looked positively evil now as he continued his story. "He threw Oska away, calling my obsession with him sinful." Sasuke's dark face disappeared and he burst into loud sobs. "He wasn't trash! He was my Oska!" Sasuke fell to his knees and crawled towards Naruto reaching out for him. Naruto, who was now forever traumatized, ran to the closest window and jumped out of it, and it just so happens they were on the 5th floor of the apartment building. His screams could be heard all the way down.

Sasuke gained his composure and picked up Oska who had been on the ground while he told the story to Naruto. _Ahh, together again Oska. _He made his way to the leather couch and laid down with the piece of meat in his arms. He soon fell asleep.

Sakura was hungry. She slowly made her way to the kitchen. She had to pass through the living room to get there and noticed Sasuke on the couch. She stopped to look at him. _He looks so peaceful... _she thought. She saw the baloney poking out form his arms._ Hmm? What's this? What the? Baloney? Must have been a prank Naruto did; he's so immature._ She picked up the meat and walked to the kitchen. While she made her self some dinner, she tossed it into the garbage disposal and started it up. _I'm gonna have to have a talk with that Naruto._ She moved through the archway to the dining room to eat.

Sasuke woke up early n the morning about 7(AN: That's early for me) His screams filled the whole apartment.

* * *

This story is for my friend Riona18 (penname on fanfic) She's funny and she used to have a piece of bologna named oska john. lol its a long story. I hope you liked the ooc Sasuke, ( my favorite type of fanfic sasuke), Remember no flames please. Thanks,

cuzimcrazylikethat


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